this emptiness is killing me.

fuck.
i hate being sick.
i hate it.
you know those toys, the stuffed monkey holding the two cymbols and smashing them together?
my head feels like it's between those two cymbols.
and my throat.
whenever i swallow, it's like i'm downing nails too.
i feel like i could puke at any moment.
i woke up this morning with sweat actually pouring down my neck and stomach.
i felt like shittt.
i was also wearing my BR sweatpants and a heavy shirt, so i quickly swapped those in for BR shorts and a tank top.
i have BR pride.
but then when i woke up at like . . 12:30, i couldn't feel my legs i was so cold.
so i changed back into my pants and heavy shirt.
i attempted to eat, and actually got a banana and a bagel down.
now they both want to come back up, but whatever.
my head is calming down a bit, but i still have a headache.
and, in short, i wish i could pull a james and have edward rip out my throat.
yeah, that wasn't funny.
i'm so sick, that when i woke up at 12:30, i actually read the atlas.
the flipping ATLAS.
it looked interesting.
and now i know some of the most dangerous creatures in the ocean.
i have a weird atlas.
so i'm going to go back to sleep now . . possibly.
actually, the weekenders are on, so i think i might watch that.
OR HARRY POTTER.
either one.
now my sister is with her friend, and being loud.
buhbye. :]

painted whore. put on some more.

So this is what it's come to ?
Alright, I'll accept it.

Bitch.

You loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee her ?
Okk,
HAVE FUN
Good luck.

Lipstick.
Blush brush.

I don't know what you see in her.

FAKKEEE.

Thats what I see.

What a painted whore.

I wanna leave.
Just walk out.

Pleaseee.
You want me ?
Where were you?
Not near me, thats right.
Please don't lie to me.

If this is a game to you, you're pretty fcuking sick.

My heart isnt' a toy, it's not to be messed around with.
So don't.

Go find your painted whore.

and leave me alone.

I'm Game.

you wanna play games, huh?
alright, i'm game.
but i'm very competitive.
be prepared to lose.

I don't know what to do.

i love you.
and i know it.
but then theres that other thing.
it follows me wherever i go, and no matter what, it won't leave.
i need you to fill the space in my heart, but i know you want.
it's her you want.
not me.
never me.
i'm not perfect, i've accepted that.
but you could atleast try to act like you care.
and i know that i'm completely cruel.
but what am i supposed to do.

i guess i'm overwhelmed.
i have no one to talk to, because no matter what . .
no one understands.
none of my friends have gone through this.


I'm Alone.

First Blog - Here I go . .

Heeeeeey there.
My name is Kaisie Ellen.
This is my first blog, so I have no idea what to say . .
So I'm just winging it.
My future blogs shall get better. :]
Just wanted to start one up, cause all my friends seem to have them. xD